Study found: children at different times, occasional children lie is a kind of smart performance! Pa
Lying in the eyes of many parents is a very bad quality, so when found that children lie, many parents will criticize, or even beat and scold the child!
But psychologists have a different take on lying.
Psychological research has shown that children lie around the age of two 20% of the probability of lying, three-year-old probability of 50% .
The child in 2 ~ 3 years old, his thinking is relatively simple, but if the child learns to speak, it means that he can use the brain to do relatively complex logical thinking.
Think about the child must know what other people think inside, but also to make up a self-justifying lie, in fact, represents the child's language ability is relatively strong, but also represents the child's logical thinking is relatively strong!
If parents criticize or even suppress their children's lying behavior, it is likely that the improvement of their children's logical thinking and language ability will be affected, affecting their children's IQ.
So in the face of lying to children, parents should understand what different lies mean to children.
Children lie in different periods of time, send out different signals, parents should learn to educate
2 ~ 3 years old: represents the child intelligence is superior
According to Jean Piaget's theory of cognitive development stages, a child's 2-to 3-year-old is in the early stages of Piaget's theory of cognitive development, when the child's thinking is irreversible.
And the child does not have any moral concept, he said what is self-centered.
For example, you have stipulated that a three-year-old child must have a full meal before he can have a snack. Then, you are asking the child if he is full. Perhaps the child has not eaten anything, but he tells you that I am full. He even pats his stomach, look at you with eager eyes, hope you give him snacks.
Three-year-old children in order to be able to achieve their own goals, try to lie to adults, in fact, represents very smart.
3 to 6 years old: there are two types of lying in children, one is unintentional and the other is intentional
Unintentional lying is because when a child is 3 to 6 years old, his imagination is very rich.
For example, the mother bought a stuffed toy for her child. He did not treat the toy as a toy, but as his close little friend. Sometimes, he would talk to the toy and chat with it, i even thought about sharing a snack with the toy.
So children in kindergarten there is a very famous song called"Mud Doll", the first"Mud doll" actually represents the child at this stage of psychology, to the side of the toy as a small partner!
And because the child's imagination is very rich, so he sometimes imagine things in his mind, as a real event to express out, this is unintentional lie.
But some children will not admit that they have done something wrong to others, and lie by concealing some facts. As a parent, don't label your children as dishonest.
For example, the child really wanted to go to the children's Park to play. When his little friend came to look for him, he told his little friend that his mother took me to the children's Park yesterday to play. There were many interesting things in it, including a trampoline and a rocking car, and have fun on the merry-go-round!
This is the child's intentional lies, parents can tell the child, you should tell the little friend, if yesterday my mother took me to play in the children's Park that is good, there are many fun things.
If you find that your child is deliberately lying, you can gently tell your child that you know he is lying, so that your child understands that it is not realistic to use words to achieve your goals, and your child will gradually become less willing to lie.
Kids over 7 lie
"Born to Lie," the book says, if a 7-year-old still loves to lie, he is actually uneasy.
That is, when the child is 7 years old, he actually knows that lying is a bad behavior, so he doesn't really want to lie, and when the child is 7 years old, he still lies, probably because of the parents.
For example, parents are too strict with their children, causing them to worry about being punished if they do something wrong, so they lie to get away with it.
Or parents usually pay too little attention to their children, leading to the children's feelings of insecurity, will let the children lie to seek their parents' attention.
Parents have been busy, children play in their own toys, called my mother to accompany me quickly, my mother said you play, my mother to be busy for a while.
Later, the child's hand accidentally hurt a call, the mother immediately rushed over to accompany him, let the child know if he was sick or injured, the mother will care about themselves.
So a child may try to get her mother's attention by lying to her, saying, "Mommy, I have a tummy ache. Mommy, I don't feel well." Getting her full attention can help a child feel loved.